College Admissions

A Legacy Obsolete

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The families I advise are generally aware of legacy admission practices, but many are less informed regarding its origins and the degree of advantage that it affords them.

As an independent educational consultant who works directly with students who benefit from this policy, I can also vouch for the pressure, and even embarrassment, this adds to an already stressful process. Not unlike the Varsity Blues scandal, students are the ones caught in the crosshairs of outside influences and expectations that can infringe on and even deter the process of finding that perfect-fit college.  

Although increasing college access and diversity is a growing priority for colleges, I have found legacy admissions to be the proverbial elephant in the room. The contradictory policy of legacy status still appears to be considered sacrosanct by many postsecondary institutions. College admissions is subjective, and the institutional priorities that define who is admitted each year often place emphasis on varying qualities that are not associated with academic merit: athletics, ability to pay, etc. However, the notion that an advantage is granted to applicants based on historical ties to the college is completely unjust when considering our country’s painful history of denying postsecondary access to students based on race, gender, and religion. Many colleges have a page on their websites dedicated to a commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion, yet duplicitously maintain legacy status in the admissions process, giving a clear (non-merit-based) boost to more privileged populations. 

Dartmouth College is the notorious trailblazer of legacy admissions, first introducing the practice in 1922, with other colleges such as Yale following closely behind. The origins of using legacy in admissions are seeded in nativism and antisemitism, created to ensure that certain populations remained excluded. Selective colleges such as Harvard and Princeton have single digit admit rates for the general population, yet admit about a third of legacy status applicants. At Cornell University, legacy admits make up “around 15% of the student body,” almost five times that of the Black student population, or almost equal to that of the entire Black and Latino populations combined. Although colleges have confirmed that legacy admits are often academically qualified, competitive applicants, this practice has given additional privileges to an already affluent population, further compounding inequity in the admissions process and serving as a barrier to achieving higher rates of diversity at college campuses. Furthermore, those who promote the use of legacy admission say it guarantees loyal alumni giving; research shows there is no correlation.   

Amherst College is the most recent institution to end legacy admission preference, citing it as a policy “that inadvertently limits educational opportunity.” The College is also strengthening its financial aid programming in an effort to making an Amherst experience more affordable and accessible to all students. Amherst joins the ranks of colleges like MIT and the California Institute of Technology in creating a holistic approach to admission that does not factor in alumni connections.  

Although legacy status is just one aspect of a college admissions process already rife with advantages for the wealthy and privileged, eliminating it is one solid gesture that all colleges can take to “walk the walk” in their diversity, access, and inclusion efforts. I applaud Amherst College, and its predecessors, for having the courage to make bold changes to embrace a new legacy that embodies the visionary leadership our students and families deserve. Breaking with past practices is something we all must be willing to do to create meaningful change for the diverse populations of students that we are called to serve and advocate for as college access professionals. 

By Yvonne Espinoza, IECA (TX)

Yvonne Espinoza, Yvonne Espinoza College Counseling Services, can be reached at [email protected]

College Admissions

How to Navigate Vaccine and Mask Mandates with Your Students and Families

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More than 18 months into the pandemic, COVID-19 continues to impact the landscape of college admissions and how life on campuses looks these days. With mask and vaccine mandates varying across the country—as well as the responses to them from prospective students and their families—many IECA members are looking for suggestions about how to guide parents and students through this tumultuous time. IECA Secretary/Treasurer Ibrahim Firat (TX) offers this perspective and advice.

Stay Informed about a College’s Mandates and its Political Climate

Our office is staying informed about college mandates/requirements by reaching out to current and past students (who are in college now) to hear what they are experiencing; reading the Chronicle of Higher Education’s up-to-date information about colleges’ vaccine mandates and other requirements; and staying in touch with admissions office contacts.

We rely on current/past student feedback, online forums, student-published media (newspaper, radio, podcast etc.), events on campus, and faculty-led research/publications to keep our pulse on the political climate of the college.

Provide Context for Vaccine Mandates

Just as size, location, academics, etc. are factors to decide where to go to college, so are rules/regulations/mandates. Vaccine mandates are not new, however; certain vaccines (i.e. meningitis) have been required by colleges for some time, so we start by reminding that this has been around. Secondly, we remind parents that their college-bound student is (or by the time they go off to college will be) 18+/adult and that it really is their decision to further pursue discussions with the school about mandates. Thirdly, colleges have been providing religious and/or health-related exemptions to mandates and that they can look into these options if necessary/applicable.

Continue to Guide Students and Families According to Best-Fit

There is a fine line between making this issue political and scientific versus completely college admissions or fit related. We do not get into the politics or the science of it as we are NOT the experts in those areas. We do get into the factors of selecting the right-fit college for the individual student/family’s values, and if certain school’s mandates are against those values, then it is simply an X rather than a checkmark next to that factor and we treat it as such. For some people, that X means everything; for some people that X is just another factor that may not fit them (i.e. size of campus/class size) and it may be okay.

College life on campus is shifting from all angles (i.e. living, dining, political climate, frats/sororities, etc.). How can we support families who are trying to find the best-fit college in this dynamic environment? It is a challenge, given that we still cannot visit most universities in person to gather updated info and get a feel for these “vibes.” But we must use the resources available to us to find the college that best matches the student’s educational, social, professional, and personal growth.

Ibrahim Firat, Firat Educational Solutions, LLC, can be reached at [email protected]

College Admissions

We Believe

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With a new docudrama on the Varsity Blues Scandal coming out this month on Netflix, as well as potential legislation impacting independent educational consultants (IECs) in several states, the IECA Board recognizes that the general public may not understand what IECA is and what guides our actions. These “We Believe” statements are meant to complement our mission and values and demonstrate IEC’s ongoing commitment to all young people.

1) We believe all students should have access to individualized educational guidance that will help them achieve their goals.

2) We believe independent educational consultants should act respectfully, honestly, compassionately, ethically, and professionally with every student.

3) We believe in the potential of all students regardless of cultural, religious, racial, ethnic, socioeconomic, gender, sexual orientation, unique needs, or learning differences.

4) We believe that education should be available and affordable to all families.

5) We believe independent educational consultants are uniquely equipped to guide and support students toward their personal, academic, social, and professional goals.

6) We believe in the power of education to widen opportunities for everyone which will ultimately improve society for all.

 

Standardized Tests

Calling on Colleges and Universities to Permanently Adopt Test-Optional Admissions Policies

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The significant barriers to access imposed by the SAT, ACT and other standardized tests, and the resulting inequities, are not limited to the challenges of test administration during a pandemic.

 The Independent Educational Consultants Association (IECA) and its members are deeply committed to helping students navigate the college process and find colleges where they can grow, succeed, learn, and thrive.

IECA believes in the transformative power of education, and we are devoted to our mission of ensuring that all students have access to education, regardless of race, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, learning differences or zip code. We demonstrate this commitment through (1) our work with thousands of students and families from all 50 states and around the world (2) our partnerships with colleges, schools and therapeutic programs and (3) the creation of equitable and inclusive resources.

IECA seeks to prevent barriers to that access.

In an effort to advance equity, IECA believes that all students should be able to choose how to present themselves in their college applications and whether or not to submit their standardized test scores.

Every year, many students are disadvantaged in the college admissions process because of the inequities ingrained in the SAT, ACT, and other standardized tests. Large numbers of low income students lack access to private tutors, enhanced educational opportunities, study guides, computer technology, reliable internet access and other resources typically available to wealthier students. Low income students face additional barriers associated with the financial burden of sending score reports.

These are not the only students who face barriers imposed by standardized testing. Countless students with learning differences struggle disproportionately with standardized testing. These students are often unlikely to perform as well as their neurotypical peers on standardized tests and, as a result, are frequently at a disadvantage in college admissions.

As a result of these significant barriers, many students find that their standardized test scores do not accurately reflect their skills and abilities. These students should have the opportunity to decide if their scores are considered in the college admissions evaluation process.

FairTest: The National Center for Fair and Open Testing, and many others, have provided extensive data to support the unfairness inherent in these tests. This data shows that standardized test scores are neither a strong predictor of academic achievement in college nor of graduation rates, and also establishes a correlation between test scores and income. Many colleges and universities, well aware of these factors, became test optional (or test blind). These colleges and universities reconsidered their traditional admissions requirements and found creative solutions that allowed them to continue to make thoughtful admissions decisions without standardized test scores. Studies have also shown that test-optional colleges and universities admit higher numbers of low income students, underrepresented minorities, women, and first generation students.

Colleges and universities must act now to remove the barriers to equitable access to higher education that are presented by standardized testing.

COVID-19 and the resulting complications with the administration of standardized testing has magnified these inequities. The College Board (SAT) and ACT have canceled, and continue to cancel or postpone, numerous test administrations across the world. The resulting uncertainty has also increased student stress and anxiety. The at-home AP exam was especially problematic for students without access to quiet spaces, reliable technology and internet access. Many thousands of students were unable to complete the exams, and it is impossible to quantify the numbers of students who did not even attempt the exam, because of these barriers. The at-home AP exams also presented challenges for students with learning differences who require accommodations.

According to FairTest, more than half of the nation’s four-year colleges and universities (and this number continues to grow) have responded to these challenges by becoming test optional for the high school Class of 2021. Many also have chosen to be test optional for up to a three-year pilot period, and many have made the decision to become permanently test optional. Others have adopted test blind admissions policies.

In announcing the decision to become test optional, University of Washington President Ana Mari Cauce summarizes the rationale for eliminating the SAT/ACT requirement: “Careful analysis and research showed that standardized testing did not add meaningfully to the prediction of student success that our holistic admission process already provides.” Similarly, as stated by Lieutenant Governor Eleni Kounalakis of the University of California system’s Governing Board, “These tests are extremely flawed and very unfair. Enough is enough.”

Enough is enough.

IECA is calling on colleges and universities to embrace this opportunity to become more equitable and reduce barriers by becoming test optional on a permanent basis for admissions consideration and in the awarding of merit aid, thereby increasing fair and equal access to higher education for all students. IECA is further calling on colleges and universities to allow self-reporting of test scores in order to reduce the financial burden on students.  

The time is now to remove barriers, not just for the high school Class of 2021, but for all future college applicants.

Virtual learning

Embrace the New Abnormal

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By Mark H. Sklarow, IECA, CEO

For those who are biding their time and just waiting for a return to normalcy, this blog is going to be uncomfortable. But I also hope it’s a wakeup call.

Yesterday I had the chance to record a panel discussion with the Executive Director of the Enrollment Management Association, Heather Hoerle. As we mused about the state of the world, the state of schools, the state of education, and the impacts of COVID-19 and systemic racism, Heather quoted a colleague who dismisses the common refrain of the “new normal” for a more insightful moniker: the NEW ABNORMAL.

Those waiting for things to return to where they’ve been—and even those waiting for things to settle into new patterns are likely both going to be disappointed. Rather, we have entered into a time of disruption, uncertainty, and constant and dramatic change.

For our admission colleagues, this means that moving forward cannot mean waiting until things “settle down.” Schools, colleges and programs that are creative, insightful, and nimble stand the greatest likelihood of weathering the storms. Conversely, those who decide to do nothing while they wait out the downpour will only find themselves facing hailstorms, monsoons, and oppressive heat in rapid succession. The changes we see now can’t be ignored until “normalcy” returns—not if we want to thrive and succeed.

What does this mean for independent educational consultants? Some appear ready to wait, assuming things will get back to the way they were. So, they delay seeing clients until things get better, stop learning and campus visits because they’re just “not as valuable” as in person events, and aren’t marketing, meeting, and enhancing their knowledge. IECA is doing everything possible to ease those IECs out of that static state of mind.

We may need to accept that this period of disruption—these “abnormal” times—is what we can expect. Even if COVID-19 is beaten, how long before the next disease? How long before folks will freely fly on planes and schools assign four students to a dorm room? Before the economy recovers?

It’s fine for us all to believe that better days are ahead. I believe that. But waiting for those days, rather than embracing the here and now will prevent your success from materializing. Take advantage of all the new tools that are available to you. Do virtual tours. Seek out clients using new media options. Attend webinars and virtual conferences. Reach out virtually to friends, colleagues, and relatives. Remain committed to the success of your business, your institution, or your organization.

A new normal will be coming. But it too will be replaced by another normal, then another. Prepare to be flexible and embrace those challenges. And if you get stuck, your IECA colleagues are only a phone call, an email, or a video chat away.

Consulting Business/independent educational consulting

IECA Member Benefits: Tools You Can Use While Practicing Social Distancing

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IECA offers a wide variety of resources to help you stay connected and informed, and to help you manage your business as efficiently and effectively as possible in these challenging times. Simply login to the website to view these and many more resources. (Contact [email protected] if you have any difficulty logging in; we’ll get you set up very quickly.)

IECA Member Network

One of our most popular benefits, this members-only online community allows you to connect with your peers on professional topics. You likely already belong to a community based on your primary specialty focus: School, College, Therapeutic, Grad School. You do not need to have the specialty designation/interest area to participate in a community. We also have Affinity Group communities based on interests, lifestyle (like Parents of Young Children), and on other topics (student athletes, LBGTQ students, etc.). The Member Network also features Regional Group communities. To access and join any of the communities, use your login credentials for the IECA website here.

While you are on the network, take a minute to upload your picture. So many members indicate that they find it easier to remember a face rather than a name, so help them out!

Monthly Webinars

Many of you know that our webinars are held at noon (Eastern) on the second Tuesday of every month and are free for IECA members. Now may be a good time to look back at the dozens of archived webinars that you may have missed.

Peer-to-Peer Resources

IECA’s website offers many valuable resources in all specialty areas from your IECA colleagues. These resources include business and marketing advice; lists of colleges with ED or EA plans; financial aid information, accommodation differences between high school and college; webinars; and much more.

Publications

You can purchase a great book or subscribe to a professional newsletter to keep up with great ideas for your practice. IECA offers discounts on a variety of publications for IECs. Additionally, IECA’s quarterly journal, Insights, is mailed to all members and features timely information on admission trends, training opportunities, marketing your business, and much more. Current and past issues can be found here.

Discounts on Products and Services

Members receive discounts on many products and services including insurance, hotels, office management tools, software, and many others.

Finally, the IECA staff is available via email and phone from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. (ET) to answer any questions you may have. Feel free to email us at [email protected].

College Admissions

2020 Rankings Released: What Colleges are Looking for in Applicants

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by Mark H. Sklarow, CEO, IECA

For more than 20 years, the Independent Educational Consultants Association has surveyed its member college admission experts to determine what colleges want to see in their applicants, creating a ranking to assist students and their parents in understanding how college applicants are reviewed after submission. Of course, all colleges are different and IECA members can be particularly helpful in understanding those variances.

Among the key 2020 findings:

• While grades are important (#2 in rankings), colleges want to see students challenging themselves, willing to risk perfect GPAs by taking courses that will demonstrate a willingness to take chances, including AP and IB coursework (#1).

• Despite all the talk about “test optional,” scores on standardized tests like the SAT and ACT remain critical (#3).

• Extracurriculars rose to their highest level ever in the IECA rankings (#4), but colleges look for a long-term, passionate, authentic involvement in one or two activities whether in or out of school. No one is impressed by a long list of tangential clubs. In fact, jumping two spots (to #6) this year: demonstration of leadership within those chosen few activities.

• Essays remain important and are even more important at smaller colleges. But students misunderstand their role. Yes, clear and cogent writing matters, but a great essay is one that tells a story, giving insight into a student’s unique personality. There’s a great saying—no one else should be able to write the essay you submit for admission.

• Coming together are four items that speak to the question: what can YOU do for US? Colleges wonder how the student will contribute to campus life: through unique characteristics or demographics (#7), through special talents (#9), through interest in research (#10), and through demonstrations of a student’s character and values (#11).

• How does a student demonstrate all those? Through the essay, the activities list, and through recommendations, which turned up as #8 on the 2020 rankings.

• Finally, an area students often don’t understand is demonstration of interest and enthusiasm in attending (#12). Are you following the college on Facebook? Did you visit the campus? Seek an interview? Colleges don’t like to extend an offer of admission to a student who will go elsewhere, so when you decide on your first choice, let them know!

The complete survey results can be found here.

College Admissions/independent educational consulting

Impact of DOJ Agreement on ED & Admission “Poaching”

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by Mark H. Sklarow, CEO, IECA

By now, most independent educational consultants (IECs) who work with college bound students have heard that NACAC has reached an agreement with the Department of Justice that eliminates several provisions of the NACAC SPGP. The DOJ argued that some of these rules—those requiring colleges to restrict recruitment efforts—constituted collusion or restrained trade.

Many IECA members have asked for guidance on what they might expect or “what to tell client families” so they are not blind-sided as the rules that colleges have followed for years become relaxed.I think there are two specific bits of information IECs and families should know:

1. Colleges for years have agreed to a universal response date, the date by which students would commit to a college for the fall. Colleges had agreed to rules that prohibited them from trying to “poach” a student who had made a commitment elsewhere. Meaning, colleges would not pursue a student who committed to attend elsewhere, including a prohibition of incentives to change their mind (like a last-minute bump in financial aid).

This rule will end. So, what will happen? We really don’t know. Most organizations, like the National Association for College Admission Counseling (NACAC) and IECA believe most colleges will, at least initially, voluntarily keep to this rule. Yet we know that any college that fails to achieve enrollment numbers may feel compelled to recruit past a student’s personal decision or beyond the May 1 deadline. Like the proverbial leak in the dam, what we don’t know is if a few colleges pursuing students will result in an all-out effort to recruit already committed students.

We also don’t know yet if colleges will take actions proactively to protect students that commit. For example, I predict that deposits may well increase from the hundreds to a thousand dollars or more, all to make it less likely that students will casually accept offers late in the year with a new pursuer, post-commitment. Likewise, housing deposits and fees could increase. Thus, while some colleges may pursue students who have committed elsewhere, other colleges may work to make a student think hard before making an expensive decision to change their commitment.

Other questions will be left to IECs to consider. If colleges can seek to recruit students who have already deposited, will our advice that students may not double deposit or admonitions that once you accept you must withdraw applications elsewhere, still be valid? Will this lead to a “second season” of admission where students are free to negotiate for their best deal?

2. The second area that the Justice Department secured a change was in recruitment of students applying under a binding “Early Decision.” The rule had been that colleges could not use special incentives to entice students to apply early—and commit—since this was binding. For example, colleges were precluded from using special Early Decision scholarships, or early decision priority for dorms or classes.

These rules, too, are now gone. Colleges may begin to offer incentives to apply under a binding ED, and there are signs that colleges are exploring this. Again, we hope that such incentives don’t become widespread, but I suspect it will happen. We know that Early Decision is a serious commitment, and as such, a decision should be done upon thoughtful and careful planning with an IEC when there is a clear first choice, not merely because an incentive is put on the table.

Once again, IECs will have to ponder the advice they give to students. Such incentives could become one more variable to consider in the process.

Colleagues, I hope this information helps as you think about what could occur. It will be important to follow how the application year develops as your work with students will almost certainly be impacted. What we don’t know is how much or how fast the traditional rules will be become victims to the DOJ rulings. Those attending IECA’s Spring Conference in Connecticut will see agenda items on this issue, including an address on this topic by Jayne Fonash, NACAC president and IEC.

California Legislation/independent educational consulting/Jobs/Taxes

NEW Legislation in California that will Impact Many IECs

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by Mark H. Sklarow, CEO, IECA

California’s State Senate and Assembly have approved legislation with the governor’s support that will change the classification of most contract workers into employees and all of the protections and benefits granted employees, including minimum wage protections.

The legislation will impact all California-based businesses, including independent educational consultants who hire others as contractors to provide tutoring, essay review, financial aid, and more.

The legislation institutes a three-part basis for determining whether someone in California is a contractor or employee, including:
1. Is the job being performed part of the company’s core business?
2. Does the ‘boss’ direct the way the work should be done?
3. Has the worker established an independent trade or business?

A person is considered an employee if they meet ANY of the three standards. So, those who use essay reviewers or test prep tutors would be required to treat those workers as employees as they are part of the IEC’s core business. This would mean meeting other state laws, including paying appropriate taxes, meeting minimum wage guidelines, and providing vacation time for many of those affiliated workers. Even if the essayist establishes his or her own business, “Essay Tutors of Santa Monica” for example, it is unlikely to be enough to categorize the worker as a contractor.

Note that this will not include business-to-business contracting; for example, a web designer hired by an IEC would not be considered an employee since this work is OUTSIDE the core purpose of the business.

If this bill is signed by the governor, it will not take effect until next year. It is expected to grant employee protections to an additional 400,000 workers in the state. The state is acting, in part, to assure that salaried workers will pay into social security and boost state tax revenues.

Stay tuned for updates and additional information. IECA will provide guidance to California-based IECs when details of the law are delineated by state agencies.

independent educational consulting/student advising/supporting students

Empowering Girls: A Responsibility We All Share

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By Jill Dalby PhD, CPCC, Certified Professional Executive Coach, Maroon Creek Coaching LLC

As independent educational consultants (IECs) dedicated to helping students choose the best path to foster academic and social growth, what would you do if you learned that half of your students may not be well served by any of the schools or colleges you are recommending? It sounds absurd, but abundant evidence exists that success in school fails to translate directly into success at work for girls and women. Carol Dweck, Stanford University psychology professor and author of Mindset, summed it up: “If life were one long grade school, women would be the undisputed rulers of the world. But life isn’t one long grade school.”

Girls are better students and better educated than their male counterparts, but they aren’t learning the breakthrough leadership skills they need to be successful in the workforce. In the classroom, they are rewarded for getting it right, being prepared, and conforming to expectations. But girls are not rewarded for taking risks, standing out, thinking on their feet, or making unpopular decisions—all important leadership behaviors.

Understanding what gets in the way of women’s empowerment is a responsibility we all share and doing something about it is our collective obligation. Although there are many ways to steward change, one way to make a difference is to become aware of the ways in which girls and women give away their power and then do something about it. I hope you find the suggestions below, which I originally presented at the IECA 2018 Fall Conference in Los Angeles, to be useful.

Communication Patterns

Women and girls walk the line between saying what they think with clarity and directness and adhering to feminine norms around communication. They have learned that what’s at risk is being heard, feeling valued, and having influence. Consequently, they have adopted habits to get their messages across gently. They hedge by using such words as just, kind of, and almost and qualify their ideas by saying “I’m no expert but…” They may even unknowingly demure by sitting in chairs on the room’s perimeter rather than at the table.

But when women and girls come across as tentative and unsure, they are giving up their power and undermining their message. By helping students recognize when they are using ineffective communication patterns and offering them alternatives to use when it’s wise for them to do so, you help them present themselves as strong, credible, worthy communicators one word at a time.

Be Likable, Then Be Competent

It’s important that girls and women understand the value of making strategic choices about when, where, and with how much strength to communicate. Psychologists Amy Cuddy, Susan Fiske, and Peter Glick have shown that humans are hardwired for safety and connection. When encountering a stranger, we quickly first want to know if the person is friend or foe and only then do we assess their competence.

Our assessments of competence are slow to change while judgments of friendliness and trustworthiness are easily modified. Further, an unfamiliar person is seen as both warm and competent only when they come from a “high-status” group. Others, such as girls and women, are seen as being either warm or competent, but not both. So, when women and girls begin a conversation with an explanation of their competence and effectiveness before establishing a connection, they can be perceived as being defensive and compensatory.

Use this information to help girls and women understand how to walk the fine line while working to change it. Let all your students know why it’s crucial to create connection and engagement at the beginning of an encounter before discussing skills and abilities and about the cognitive biases formed against low-status groups. Information is power—for you and for the students you serve. By understanding what’s behind the tradeoffs, you can help girls shed ineffective communication habits without setting them up to fail in those environments that aren’t ready for a woman who will adapt her style but won’t compromise her value in order to be heard.

Hiding Strategies

Girls and women are really good at using hiding strategies to mask procrastination and relieve anxious “I’m not ready yet” feelings. Expressed as the tendency to overcomplicate a process, endlessly polish an outcome, curate everyone else’s ideas except her own, and omit her story from the narrative, hiding strategies appear to be important tasks but really keep girls and women playing small because the underlying behaviors don’t produce the forward momentum that catapults them into the spotlight.

Help your students see when they’re making choices that keep them safe but far from centerstage, and then invite them to approach things differently. If they tend to work in isolation, suggest that they tell their friends what they wish to accomplish and ask for feedback. Or explain the benefit of efficiency that comes from sharing an early draft version. If they tend to overcomplicate and overpolish, model clarity and simplicity. And finally, empathically discuss the cost of perfection. As Lisa Damour, clinical psychologist and author of Untangled, pointed out, “We need to remind girls that when any score above 90 counts as an A, the difference between a 91 and 100 is a life.” In your work as IECs, you have the chance to help girls believe in themselves and change their self-limiting behaviors.

Unhealthy Attachments to Praise and Criticism

To know we matter is a fundamental human desire. Rather than looking inward for self-assurance, though, many seek external validation to find their identity and worth. More so than men, women tend to seek outward approval to feel acceptable, worthy, and capable. At the same time, they avoid criticism for fear of feeling unacceptable, unworthy, and incapable. This unhealthy attachment to praise and criticism is another way that girls and women give away their power.

Because strong, capable women seek out feedback and meet with their critics, help reframe your students’ perspective on feedback. Teach them it is an opportunity to learn what others expect; it is not a reflection of worth or intelligence. In doing so, you will support your students to unhook from praise and criticism while growing a healthy self-regard from the inside out.

Fear

We humans are hardwired to attend to our feeling of fear because it protects us from harm—getting eaten by the sabre tooth tiger or falling off the cliff. It motivates us to practice again so that we’re ready for the performance. And it signals a desire to stretch out of a comfort zone in search of our potential. But when healthy fear gets supplanted by imaginary beasts like failure, rejection, and even success, we get hijacked by paralyzing fears and our power is diminished.

Other fears disempower too. Women’s fear of conflict sabotages leadership potential. And women who unnecessarily share their successes with others or use the “royal we” for fear of standing out or appearing selfish, squash their opportunities for recognition and advancement.

When fears remain unexplored, “stuckness” happens, but fears that are faced and overcome become sources of power. The first step is to identify the type of fear that is being experienced and then get curious about it. What is good about it? What is bad about it? What is to be done about it? Supporting girls and women to work with fear rather than against it is crucial to their empowerment because when they triumph over fear, they are emboldened to do more and to be more.

Self-Doubt

Women are ruminators. They are more likely than men to replay what went wrong and to believe they’re at fault. While men tend to get angry, blame others, and move on, women listen to the voice in their head that repeatedly questions and castigates. What ensues is an inner dialogue characterized by self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. For women, this voice of the inner critic is often the loudest and when that voice speaks, power is silenced.

By encouraging girls to recognize the voice of their inner critic, you help them neutralize its impact. When you suspect a student’s loud and mean voice of self-doubt is talking, ask her to notice it and talk back to it kindly. Teach her to separate herself from the inner critic by giving it a name and distinct characteristics. When it shows up, say: “That doesn’t sound like you. That sounds like your inner critic. Why don’t you tell it ‘Thanks, but no thanks, not today.’” Invite it to go sit in the other room or turn down its volume.

After her inner critic has left them room, call on her inner mentor to come out. That is the voice inside her that wants the best for her always. It speaks in a peaceful, quiet voice from a place of wisdom, love, and guidance. It’s our true north. It’s our mindful self. By helping girls and women identify the many active voices talking at one time, you allow them to overcome the inner critic’s need to keep them playing small and you support a lifelong empowerment process.

These are only a few of the patterned behaviors and socialized processes that disempower women and girls. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Just as Dr. Seuss’s Once-ler made his passionate appeal at The Lorax’s end, I say to you: “Unless someone cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better, it’s not.”

Change happens one person at a time through insight and action. Empowered voices can work together to create systemic change. Whether you change your own actions to model a more empowered approach to life, incorporate these new insights when advising students, or explore ways your own actions may be inadvertently disempowering others, find novel ways to enhance your practices and change your behaviors while simultaneously helping women succeed in the long run, not just the short run. Because if you don’t, who will?

Additional Reading

Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith, How Women Rise: Break the 12 Habits Holding You Back From Your Next Raise, Promotion, Or Job. Hachette Book Group, New York, 2018.

Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance, What Women Should Know. Harper Collins, New York, 2014

Tara Mohr, Playing Big: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, Create and Lead, Penguin Random House, New York, 2014.

Amy Morin, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success. Harper Collins, New York, 2017.