In my work as a school counselor over the last two decades, I’ve worked with all kinds of students with all kinds of challenges. But when students started coming out to me as transgender, I didn’t have anything in my toolbox to help.
I got resourceful and started learning. Quickly. When my team and I started digging deeper into what these students needed at school, we realized that they needed a safe place to exist and learn. I created a resource list to make sure everyone had access to the information they needed to be safe and learn at school. Here’s what we did.
Know Your Rights
Many students don’t even know their basic rights at school: to be called by the name and pronouns that match their gender identity, to use the restroom that matches their gender identity, to have the right to privacy, and more. Federal and state laws and the US Constitution prohibit discrimination, bullying, and harassment against transgender students. This includes Title IX, the federal law that bans sex discrimination in schools.
What if a school isn’t playing nice? What can students/caregivers do?
- Encourage them to start with their school and find advocates in the building (start with the school counselor), even though this can still be a challenge.
- Parents can file a complaint with the US Department of Education’s Office of Civil Rights. (Generally, if a principal knows a parent will file a complaint, this can encourage some positive action to avoid that process.)
Understand Student Information Systems at School
The ONLY school documents that have to match a student’s legal name are legal documents (social security records, transcript). Regardless of what the school staff tell you, things like a student ID, diploma, awards ceremonies, graduation programs, etc. are NOT legal documents that require legal names.
Think about it this way—two students could have the identical legal name, so the unique identifier is the student ID number. Not the name. This is a great opportunity to help students advocate for themselves.
Access to Facilities
It’s critical that students are able to use the restrooms and locker rooms that they are most comfortable in.
Put yourself in their shoes—if you’re in school for seven or eight hours a day, inevitably you’re going to need to use the restroom. I have known far too many trans students who simply chose to forgo using school restrooms unless it was an absolute emergency, which resulted in those students struggling to stay focused in class.
You can help by asking your students to talk to their school counselor. They will advocate for students, with the administration, or help students file a complaint with the Department of Education.
Help Students Find Safe and Affirming Spaces
For many of these students, their homes are not safe spaces—so they need to know that they have somewhere to go when they need to vent, cry, or get support services. Reassure students that there are virtually always allies around them, even if they don’t see them at first. And if their school doesn’t already have a student group dedicated to LGBTQ+ students, this is the perfect time to create one!
Other tips:
- Identify “safe” faculty and staff through visible identification such as Safe Space stickers on office/classroom doors, lanyards, window clings, etc.
- Find a physical safe space like a “panic room” where students can go when they are in crisis mode without being penalized for being outside of class.
- If the school doesn’t offer trans-specific counseling, they can ask their counselor for referrals to local trans-friendly or trans-specific care centers.
- And most importantly, if they’re struggling with bullying or harassment at school, they can talk to counselors or any other trusted adults in the building.
Transition Support/Mental Health Counseling
For these students, particularly if they are struggling deeply with mental health, transitioning is a huge factor in their ability to stay happy and safe. If you are in a state that has recently banned trans healthcare for minors, your main goal should be to support these students to graduation, so that they can (ideally) move off to college in a safer state.
This is where affordable (or free) counseling and mental health resources are vital. Connect with local LGBTQ+ resources to refer students and their families who need additional support.
Conversation Starters
When working with LGBTQ+ students, ask appropriate questions. Ask them how “out” they are and who knows about their identities. I’ve gotten used to using one name and pronoun with the student and a different one with the parent. Privacy is key, and the student gets to determine who to tell and when. Ask them if they have found community with other LGBTQ+ students, and if not, what that could look like for them.
You’ll make mistakes. Own it—without making a big deal out of it—and keep moving forward. Say things like “I’m still learning.” If the student knows you’re trying, they likely won’t be upset with you.
Researching Colleges
When working with transgender and nonbinary students, you’ll want to make sure you are searching for supportive colleges. Students should start by researching various state laws concerning trans adults.
Figure out which states are going to be the safest, especially if they hope to begin their physical transition while in college. Ultimately, the most supportive school in the world can only do so much if the laws in that state are restrictive about transitioning.
Once you have your list of states, start researching schools in those states that are well known for being LGBTQ+ friendly.
- The Campus Pride Index website is a great place to start. You can search by state, region, index rating (1-5 stars), and/or institution type to start building the student’s list of schools.
- Once you’ve built the list, encourage the student to get in contact with the LGBTQ+ centers at the schools to get a better sense of the resources and programming they offer and to figure out which schools will not only accept them, but celebrate them.
- Encourage the student to also explore LGBTQ+ social activities in the area (local clubs, bars, restaurants, pride festivals, etc.).
- Find current students to speak with them about how the school’s resources, policies, and programming actually look in the day-to-day experience.
And lastly, another great option when building their college list is to search for schools whose student health insurance plans will cover some or all of their transition costs.
If your student is hoping to start their physical transition while in college and they don’t have family financial support, this can be a life-changer! The Campus Pride Index has a list of over 150 schools in the US who offer this kind of health insurance, separated by state.
By Shannon Bergeron, CEP, MEd, IECA (TX), Core College Consulting