Whose Essay Is This Anyway?
by Marcia Kramer, IECA (NJ)
I e-mailed Gabe and his parents: “You need to rewrite this essay. It sounds like an adult wrote it.” I decided I’d save the explanation about the admissions reps knowing how 17-year-olds write for the later discussion we would be sure to have when Gabe’s parents denied writing the piece in question.
A few days later I received an e-mail from Gabe’s mother that read, “Did you say the essay sounds like an adult wrote it? Could that be because an adult did write it? What should we do?” What should you do? Give the essay to Gabe and let him write it.
I had spent hours with this student, gently coaching him along, careful not to intrude too much on his writing. He had high aspirations but his writing and grades were mediocre. He had native intelligence but was averse to hard work. We plodded along most of the summer, getting his main essay in shape. He worked like a snail, a tiny bit here and there, but nothing much to speak of. It took weeks for him to have something useful for his main Common Application essay.
One day in the fall he appeared with a hard copy of one of his supplemental essays in hand, an odd event for him as he usually came unprepared to our sessions. I had already seen his lackluster draft, an uninspired piece about being a pirate. The student talked about wearing knickers and having a parrot on his shoulder. It was a description one might find in a children’s book.
I picked up the revision and read, “Equality through the redistribution of the wealth (otherwise known as stealing from the rich), as well as the rules of fair play in duels, and collective decision making amongst my mates would be the hallmarks of my piratical ideal. Like Disney’s Jack Sparrow, Sabatini’s Captain Blood and Goldman’s Black Roberts, I would be a self-serving, risk-taking buccaneer but a fundamentally altruistic man.”
“This looks nothing like your essay, Gabe.”
“Yeah, well my dad added a bunch of stuff.”
The student didn’t seem to care much about the quality of his work, but clearly his parents did. He was happy to let them pave the way for his admission to a good school, one that might even be more than he could manage.
Things continued like this. Each essay bore the stamp of either the father or the mother, depending on the topic. In fact, one day when the student and I were meeting, mom called to say, “I am working on revising Gabe’s essay on marijuana and I found a club at ______ College devoted to decriminalizing possession of marijuana. Would that be something to work into this essay?”
Like all parents, this couple surely wants the best for their child—a good education leading to a promising future and the ability to be a fully functioning adult. Who doesn’t want that for their child? But in hijacking the writing process, parents unknowingly deprive their child of a basic and fundamental experience: that of competence. By rewriting their child’s essays and leaving not a shred of his own voice in the process, parents are telling their child that their work isn’t good enough, that they cannot count on their own voice to express their desires, that they are, essentially, not able to speak for themselves.
Those of us who guide students through the college choice process believe that the people reading these essays are savvy enough to realize when an essay has been written by someone other than the student. But it seems to me one of most fundamental issues we can raise as IECs is not what this will do to the students’ college chances, but what this will do to the students’ sense of self. I plan to make sure I address that issue with all of my upcoming students so I don’t have to read about another parent’s secret desire to “don his black velvet coat with gold buttons at the cuff.”
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Thanks, Marcia for bringing this important issue to light! Too often parents take over their child’s essay writing and do more harm than they may realize.
Thanks Jeanine. It’s a sensitive issue. Have I helped my own child more than I would care to admit? Yes. Have I learned that there is benefit in letting them go it alone? Yes.
I think you are right, Marcia. In the effort to help their child, many parents inadvertently send the message that the child is not capable of writing a worthy essay by themselves. Furthermore, admissions officers are very adept at picking up when the writing reflects a command of English that is not corroborated by standardized test scores, grades, and/or letters of recommendation by English teachers.
I think colleges are getting wise to this going on with College essays. The fact that students must submit their ACT/SAT essays to colleges should help weed out some cheating.
I agree with Becky… many parents feel they are helping their child by writing these stellar essays, when in fact it is not really reflective of who they are as a student or person, not to mention their transcripts. However, I did once work with a student who actually wrote like a post grad student and intimidated me!
Marcia,
Your article is wonderful. It really speaks to the distress parents find themselves in when they cannot control a process sometimes (improperly) recognized as a referendum on their parenting. I will not only Tweet this, but I may include it in my new client package. Thanks!
Marcia: This was really superb, and great that you included a sample from the “revised” essay. I plan on showing this to parents in the future, so thanks for contributing it!
One of the saddest parts of your story is that the student seemed resigned and didn’t care that his parents had taken control of his essay. He has clearly received their message that he’s not good enough to write the essay (or do anything else?) on his own. Very sad.
Dear Marcia,
Excellent blog, Marcia, and after seeing you at our IECA New Jersey lunch on Tuesday (great New Year’s turnout of 14 IECs….lovely!), I am mystified that you have the time to blog, my dear! We all tell our students that the essay is their big chance to tell the admissions folks who they are, to illuminate themselves, to put the “meat” on the “bones” of the test scores and GPA, etc., and here it is not who they are but who their parents tell them they must be or who they think the colleges and universities want them to be…what a shame! Be true to yourself and the admissions folks will enjoy learning who you are – everyone has a special gift, never forget that and the essay is your chance to let them open the “package!”
with a smile,
Carolyn
Marcia, This is a great blog, and I couldn’t agree with you more! The funny thing is that I’ve even had meddlers (sister’s boyfriend, for instance) rewrite an essay and take all the pizzazz out of it along with the student’s unique voice. When the student showed me the “revision” of an essay I’d told him was good to go, he said someone had helped him make it “more sophisticated.” He could hardly believe me when I told him and his parents that I actually preferred the original version because it was lively and captured his personality whereas the new one was dry and boring. How wonderful it had to feel for this somewhat insecure student when the original essay earned him early decision admission to his reach school!
Marcia,
I just read this posting the other day, and it has made me smile wryly more than once. It is perhaps ironic that the essay, the portal through which the student has the most opportunity to share a voice, seems to shut some people down out of overwhelm or anxiety. Time and time again we tell parents about how the college essay is an animal apart from a high school classroom essay, but they don’t seem to get it! This is where a lot of the conflicts begin — that lack of understanding and trying to frame the essay into something other than what a kid would potentially write.